How to vote — in 13 steps
1. Ignore all political ads. They are mostly lies and useless exaggerations. All sides.
2. If you are a dyed in the wool Republican or Democrat, vote your party, then go enjoy the day.
3. If you are “undecided,” there is something wrong with you. By the way, the candidate you eventually pick, if you even get that far, will never win.
4. Ignore debates. They prove nothing. They mean nothing.
5. Ignore all media stories. So-called political reporters (now media personalities) are either covering the “horse race” — that is, the latest poll or gaff — or they are in the tank for one side or the other.
6. Ignore all political ads. They are mostly lies and useless exaggerations. All sides.
7. Vote “no” on all initiated laws, proposed amendments, and other ballot issues — unless there is one that particularly strikes a chord. Most of them involve raising taxes to build new bureaucracies for programs that won’t work. (And I like our governments!)
8. Nearly every election is honest. Rhetoric about stolen or rigged elections are lies.
9. To research challengers who have never held office READ their websites, which will be exaggerated, but will tell you where they stand. Don’t talk to your friends. Politically, they are dumber than you are.
10. To research incumbents or candidates who have held other offices (like a mayor running for governor) READ their websites, which will be exaggerated, and their voting records. Same deal with friends.
11. If you do not know how to READ, learn how to READ.
12. Register to vote. Otherwise, you are committing a crime. Then vote — by mail or in person, but VOTE!
13. Ignore all political ads. They are mostly lies and useless exaggerations. All sides.
